I have the talent of getting tired without doing anything
me at the family event: well actually gender is just a social construct and only exists as a lubricant for the Capitalist Machine
“shit it’s 2 a.m.” i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i am surprised
*dumps entire bottle of foundation on face*
I’m gonna start wearing makeup in my fucking sleep.
dear god, let it be enough
Did you know fedoras make you the worst person in the world ?
i guess you learn something new every day
When airport employees get bored
when someone insults you and your friend backs you up